“Rules are made to be broken.” You know that saying?  I’ve been thinking about it today, and I think I get it.  Or at least my own little version of what it’s supposed to mean.  Rules are meant to be broken sometimes.  Rules need to be tested to see and to appreciate why they are there.

I’ve broken a lot of my own rules lately.  And by lately, I mean like the past 6 months.  Yikes.  I’ve tested the limits of what I think I’m capable of.  I tried to “hook up”. Multiple times.  I’ve quit caring about school, skipping class left and right, putting off assignments to the last minute, going to class hungover.  I’ve put partying ahead of, well, everything.  These break all my rules.

I am a relationship girl, at least to the extent that, if I’m involved with a guy, it’s not supposed to be in a way that makes me feel disrespected.  Disrespected by them, but I’m the one to blame.  I disrespected myself, and so, of course, they see no reason to respect me. I don’t need to be in a relationship right now, but I need to stop making sex such a priority.  If I just gave myself some time to get used to not being physical, for crying out loud, I could be okay without it for a while.

And I love school.  I used to study my little hiny off, make study schedules, start projects weeks in advance.

I cared about myself, about respecting myself, and I cared about my future and the work that I do.  Until recently.

I broke the rules, and I learned why they were there.  And now I think it’s time to go back to following them. Finally, maybe, this little “wild child” phase is over.  Actually, no not maybe.  This is a decision.  A decision to adhere to my own rules, my own standards for myself.

Self-respect, I know it’s been a while, but I’m gonna get you back.

(Also, in case she ever reads this, since she’s one of the only people who’ve ever read this little bloggy, I want to shout out a happy birthday to one of my best buddiessss.  I wuv her to pieces!)

(ALSO, if anyone ever read through this blog, they’d probably think I have some sort of bipolar or multiple personality disorder.  “I’m gonna do what I want with guys!”, “No, have self-respect!”, “my life is so hard!”, “my life is so easy!”.  I swear I’m not crazy, people of the internet.)


2 Responses to “rules”

  1. 1 marriagecoach1 April 15, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    Girls do a disservice to themselves when they try and emulate guys tendencies to have sex without a relationship. I have stated before, every time you have sex without a relationship, you become a little more jaded and cynical. It gets to the point that it is hard to trust people knowingt that they will likely be looking towards the next conquest.

    Sex creates bonds. When these bonds are simply tossed aside, there is a consequence. I preach the gospel of self respect and no sex until you are in a committed monogamous relationship. Otherwise it diminishes the sex and you.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

    • 2 honeybunny24 April 15, 2010 at 9:06 pm

      but do you think it’s appropriate for guys to have those same tendencies? I don’t know how comfortable I am with a double standard, even if I agree with most of your statement.

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