talking to myself

Dear Me,

You are about to go back to school.  This involves leaving the safe little cocoon of home, where there are no ragers, no co-ed sleepovers, where temptation is creepily lurking, waiting for you to get to the point where you think saying yes to everything = freedom.

Here are a few things I want you to remember:

  1. You tried the casual hook-up thing.
    And you felt really poopy the next day.  Like, really poopy.  You cried and called your mom and had to do that thing where you clean and organize everything because it eases your anxiety.  Oh, and it happened on your friend’s futon. That was so rude.  And selfish. You hate being rude.  And selfish.  That’s what college hook-ups with guys you just meet are like, unless you want to be unsafe and bring them back to your place or theirs, completely alone.  Definitely a lose/lose situation.
  2. You were too drunk to really give yourself a choice.
    Be safe and take control, okay?  You respect people that set goals and boundaries for themselves and stick to them.  Do the same for yourself.  Don’t let others make your choices for you.  Stick to the new alcohol limit you set.  Stick to the rule of no one-night stands.  Don’t feel like someone still has control over you just because you say ‘no’ to things.  Who set these limits? You did.  Because they will make you happy.  You’re saying ‘no’ for yourself, not to please anyone else.
  3. It takes 28 days to break a habit.
    For the first month of school, be especially aware of the choices you make.  Make conscious decisions before acting.  You weren’t in this habit before.  Then the night with a certain someone happened without you really having a say in it because you were drunk.  That began the habit, which you now realize, so break it.

Best Wishes,
You

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