Dear Future Husband,
I am lost without you, and yet I am single for our sake. I am struggling with being single. Right now, I feel like the single life is not meant for me. But it could just be because I am not used to it. Either way, my heart is hurting. After feeling so loved, like I was the most important person to someone, I feel empty. I have not yet learned to depend on myself to make me happy, to fill myself with love and meaning. From an objective point of view, I see myself as only half a person, capable of being complete only when I’m with someone else. This breeds dependence, anxiety, and insecurity in me that would ultimately lead to the decay of a loving relationship. I don’t know how to change this, but surely being single for a while can help. I will need to cope with being alone. I will be forced to make myself happy because there will be no one else to do it.
My mom says that I can’t depend on other people to make me happy anyway. No offense to you, but she believes that no one, including a man, will ever be dependable. The only person who is 100% dedicated to you and your best interest is you. I am starting to learn this, because I have been thoroughly disappointed by a couple of guys. Their interest is themselves. Part of me feels they are selfish, but a part of me wonders if they are doing the right thing, and I’m not. For one thing, they are much happier than I am. Is putting yourself first the only way to be that happy? Am I looking at this wrong? Or maybe I just need to be concerned with myself a little more, rather than be focused entirely on other people making me happy. I’m going to be optimistic and assume that this is for the best. That what I learn during this single period will be for my best, and will benefit us, too, later on.
I hope you are out there, and that you’ll love me the way I want you to. I hope you find something in me that makes you happy. I hope you tell me I’m beautiful, and mean it. I hope you will be there to tell me I’m worth it, and that I matter.
I hope we will have this:
Until then, I’ll try to do these things for myself.
With so much love,
Your Future Wife
love in the time of facebook. 